Part 2: Encouragement is a raindrop, not a flood.

I have been praying lately for encouragement. Not just momentary encouragement, but something to really plant some daisies in my garden. Although it wasn't a daisy, I saw a seed on Friday.

We have been praying a lot lately for our Good News Club. This last Friday we were short on help, I was feeling sick yet had to present the Gospel clearly through a Bible story when all I wanted to do was curl up under my light blue comforter and throw a pity party, complete with tears and cries of exhaustion. Between school, work, and volunteering lately I've barely had rest. Yet I can't bear to give up any of the three. Anyway, the first excitement came when a kindergartener that hadn't attended since last October came! His family had sent a note in the fall saying that he didn't want to come to Good News Club anymore. If any one of you could see the excitement in his eyes when we sang or learned about the Bible you would have no doubt that that message was fabricated, and that there was some other reason he was being denied this club. I was pretty enraged by the note. But so excited to see him return!

His grandmother had brought him and was sitting in the room as we conducted club. For me that was nerve wrecking! I really dislike talking in front of lots of people. With children it is not so bad, because they don't really know when you've messed up... But adults do. So I just 'blocked' her out of my  head and continued club like it was just a bunch of little kids. After the Bible story I gave an invitation to receive Christ, and told the group of about 35 kids that if they wanted to know more about how they could have their sins cleaned out and forgiven then they could come and talk to me in the back of the auditorium.

So, I sang a song with them and moved to the back of the auditorium with my Bible. Sure enough, as soon as I sat down up comes the little kindergartener boy! In a counseling situation like this, the first thing you do is ask the child why they came to talk to you. If they are genuinely convicted, they will know exactly why, because they want to have their heart cleaned from sin. But often times we have them answer something like "because I like sitting next to you!" or "Because I want to learn more about God."

A Child's heart is a delicate thing, and you can't force salvation on them, they will leave thinking they are "saved" (whatever that means to them) and not understanding the Gospel at all. Usually in such situations you just tell the child to rejoin the group, and they will happily oblige. When I asked this little boy why he came to talk to me, he looked up at me with big eyes and was silent. After a pause he answered, "I can't remember."

The walk to the back of the room after an invitation is given is a brave one. It singles you out from the rest of club, ESPECIALLY if you are a six year old who was sitting next to you grandmother, and left her side to talk to a practical stranger. I looked into this little boy's eyes and could just see the Holy Spirit at work.

Unfortunately... my years of Child Evangelism Fellowship training ran out of my brain and hid at this point... I completely forgot ALL of the counseling proceedures. I decided that he clearly was right in between accepting Jesus and ... well, not yet accepting Jesus. I began to ask him questions about the Gospel and as far as I could tell, he understood it quite well. I asked him if he had ever asked Jesus to forgive his sins and he said that he and his brother had... Although coming from a six year old I have to take into account he may just be telling me what he thinks I want to hear. He went on to say he could do so everyday...

I tried to explain to him that God doesn't just listen to your words when you pray, He looks at your heart. So even if you feel like you may have used the wrong words, God understands what is in your heart. And that once God has come into your heart and cleaned out your sin He never leaves, so you don't have to re-ask Him to come in. I showed him a verse in Hebrews where God promises to never leave us: "I will never leave you." And showed him how he could say the verse by putting one word to each of his fingers... He memorized it almost immediately. That was a bright, smart little boy. And although I am still unsure of his exact spiritual stance, I am confident that the Lord has planted a seed deep inside of him, and that God has been and will continue to be at work in his heart.

After I talked to him, his grandmother came to ask me about what he talked to me about... I explained to her what we talked about and she just stood inside of my personal bubble, and looked at me, and said,

"You're wonderful, do you know that?"

I wasn't really sure of how to respond.

She went on to tell me she was amazed at what I was doing with the children and that I have a real "gift". She had even gotten up to talk to my mom about it during my Bible story. (wut?) Aparently my mom told her all about me (I suppose my story was longer than I thought it was...) because this woman I had never spoken to before went on to tell me that she used to be a Graphic Designer! (double wut)

Like, no, seriously... what are the odds there?

What did she tell me?

"It won't be easy!" she warned.

Yeah... Real encouragement!

She began telling me about all of the frustration she used to have at her job. (she used to design fabric prints and patterns) She told me that her boss used to be extremely critical and demanding on everything. Yet, even under such great pressure and trial she knew that God was using the people around her as "unpaid guardians of her soul" ... I won't pretend to completely understand what she meant... I kind of just smiled and nodded since at the time the only real things my mind could process was how tired I was, and how close to me she was standing... :/

I will be praying for her and her grandson. I trust that God put her there to tell me that at that at that specific moment... even if I don't understand why yet, the facts are just to random to be... random.

Although God's encouragement isn't coming at me in tidal waves or great floods. I can occasionally see a raindrop.

I ask that you be praying for me, that I can see these raindrops instead of forming a one man pity party. Too many raindrops are missed in our lives, because the only thing we can see is our own struggles, our own business. Pray not just for me, but that we can all spot these small forms of encouragement in our lives. I know that I am not the only one struggling with constant discouragement this semester, or this year, or even decade.

I am sorry to have published such a long boring post, but as I have always claimed, this IS the blog of random things. and these ARE the random things that have been on my mind.