Oh. My. Gosh.
I am so sorry for all of my many avid readers and fans for my long absence from this blog.
(Sarcasm. I have no readers, obviously.)
(20 days short of 2 years.)
(3 years since I've regularly updated.)
Who is really to blame here?
Boys. Boys are to blame. Gotta hate 'em.
Just kidding. You really shouldn't hate them. And I really don't have any one to blame but myself. Darn multiple jobs and University. Always keeping me down. :( Sad face.
Well things are certainly about to change, y'all! I will finally graduate college in May.
May 4 to be exact.
Star Wars day.
The Fourth is with me. I am one with the Fourth.
Because I'm finally graduating. On the Fourth. in 30 days.
:)
Honestly, though. It is terrifying. I am freaking out on the inside. I've thought I had my future all laid out countless times only to have my best laid plans turned inside out and upside down every. dang. time. How many more times must they change?
I guess until they are the right plans. The plans that God wants for me. "But what about the times we fail God's plans" you ask? Good question. I can only continue to ask myself, "How many times have I let down God's plans for me? How many times have I delayed His best?"
The truth is, probably pretty constantly. I suck, y'all. I really do. I claim to want what God wants for me then run to the closest thing to a security blanket that is ever nearest. (Whether a secure job, a boy, a college degree,) But God doesn't call me to security. I may not see the depths of the water I will have to tread, but I can tell you that I don't really want to have to tread water that is deep, or water where I can't see my feet.
(wow, this analogy just took a really real turn in my life. Swimming isn't my thing. Especially in deep water where I can't see my feet.)
God doesn't call any of us to safety here on Earth. He calls us to trust Him.
I dread to count the ways that I have tried not to see the plans God has for my life. Because I am sure they are in the hundreds. Be praying for me; pray I have the courage and wisdom to recognize God's call. Pray I have the courage and moxie to tread the water when my feet can't touch. But most importantly pray that I would truly trust God in all of it. Trusting God is so simple, yet so complicated.
I still don't know exactly what I am doing when I graduate.
(Other than MegaCon, I've got that on the schedule.)
But for those of you who hear that as "I'm a failure, and I didn't apply for jobs in time, and I didn't get enough internships blah blah blah blah"
You probably have a point. That is why I don't currently have a job offer, to be sure.
But understand that I haven't accepted any of the numerous opportunities set before me because I will not sign away my future without knowing it is what God has for me.
That is all,
Hope to actually update again sooner than 2019,
End.
